Orlando Flights During

Spring Break....Ugh!!!!

    I recently worked a flight to and from Orlando at one of the worst times of the year -- Spring Break!
    It's that time of year when the country bumpkins, who have saved up their life savings for a trip to Walt Disney World, cram our airplanes and expect the world. Ma, Pa, Jethro, Sally Mae, Grandpa, Grandma. You name it! They were on my flight to Micky Mouse's East Coast home in Florida.
    These are the same folks who have probably not flown since 911 produced a series of changes in our industry, if ever at all.
    These are the folks who base their travel experience on TV airline commercials and demand it all: endless requests for sodas; complaints about having to "buy" their food on board; to the relentless flight attendant call bell ringers for something as simple as asking, "How much time do we have left in the flight?"
    I try and have patience with these types of passenger. But there comes a point, when I have to draw the line. Thus, I'm here blogging about the horrendous flight as a way of "venting" and relieving my nerves. Call it "flight attendant therapy" if you will.
    Between the screaming children running up and down the airplane aisles, to the never-ending requests, to the foul order permeating the cabin, I'm surprised my crew and I lived to talk about it.
    But it was a clueless mother who got the crew, and the entire cabin for that matter, at wits end.
    This was the same mother who requested before the flight, if she could use the first class lavatory since she was seated in the first row in the coach cabin, obviously too lazy to walk to the back of the airplane where the economy lavatories were. The same mother who looked struggled to hold her over sized infant son.
     So after my service in first class, I decided to venture into the economy class cabin to help my flying partners pick up trash. As I made my way into the cabin, the open plastic bag in my two hands, I could not believe what I saw. This mother tosses her child's crappy diaper into the bag. The same bag that we are required to stow in the galleys where we serve food and beverages from.
    I kindly asked her to remove the diaper and educated her that the proper place to throw away the dirty diaper, would be the same bathroom that she had been using most of the flight.
    "There is a trash can in there," I told her. "I'm sorry, but because we are food and beverage handlers, we cannot retrieve soiled diapers from passengers."
    She looked at me as if I was from Mars, a dumbfounded look transfixed on her face.
    What I REALLY wanted to say to her was: "Do you give your child's dirty diaper to the waiter or waitress at the restaurant you are eating at?"
    But it doesn't stop there. It only gets worse! About two hours left into the flight, and I began to smell this horrible, foul odor inside the airplane. I take a walk through the cabin and notice the smell is worse in once certain section. And you guessed it! It was in the first row of economy.
    And there it was! The crappy diaper squeezed into the mother's seat pocket, just inches from her nostrils. The same seat pocket other passengers use to stow books, snacks, computers, and other personal items on all our other flights.
    Other passengers gave me a horrified look as I discovered the source of the smell. By this time I was over this feeble-minded mother who had no regard for others' comfort. So I walked away and counted to three.
    What I really wanted to do, was dig into my tote back and pull out my "Midnight Pomegranate" fragrance spray from The White Barn Candle Company and spray it in the cabin, taking aim particularly at this mother's face.
    We finally landed and I still had somewhat of my sanity after this horrible flight.
    As I did a quick walk through in the cabin once everyone deplaned, I noticed the dirty diaper. The same place where the mother had left it. I certainly hope the next time she flies, and reaches into her seat pocket for her magazine or snacks, she finds a treat left for her by the previous passenger!